So, if you can believe it, I wasn’t always into politics. [I know, I can hear all my readers laughing at me right now.] If you’ve followed this for any length of time, it’s pretty common knowledge that I can get heated from time to time. But I swear to you, this wasn’t always the case.
Ok, well let me rephrase that. I’ve always LOVED politics. My senior year of high school, I was forced to campaign for a local election. I chose a Republican. Why? I have no clue. But I had a blast! Phone calls. Holding signs on the street corner. The thrill of Election Day! We may have lost, but I was hooked.
I chose the college that I ended up going to because I wanted to be an elementary school teacher, and this college had one of the best elementary ed programs in the Western half of the country. I declared Pre-Law on my first day. I worked for the Associated Press on Election Days to take in phone calls from precincts around the country calling in with their numbers. I witnessed Al Gore win — then lose to Shrub — in the 2000 Presidential Election all in one night. It was amazing. [Well ... not Gore losing. But the whole experience!]
But I never talked about it as much as I do until I moved to this town. I’m not quite sure what the reason for that is, because my passion for it has never wavered since that day I stepped foot into the campaign office. It’s not like I moved here and WHAM — major obsession with politics. Maybe it’s because of where I grew up. Everybody I know from back home in Seattle leans to the left. And it’s no secret that people that graduate with higher learning degrees tend to be more liberal. Most of my friends did indeed fit into this category. But not all of them. I remember a heated argument with my friend Nicki after a Colorado Mammoth game and one too many free beers at the Pepsi Center [thank you, Dan the Bartender!!!]. One of my best friends, Tyson, is a severe Republican, and again, we have argued many times over the state of the world. [For the record, I am not saying that I only have two friends who are to the right. I have many. They are just the first two people who popped into my head.] But not once have I ever thought less of them because of what they believe. And because they are my friends, they do not think any less of me. It is what it is, and it definitely does not define me, or them.
But holy shit, in this town, it sure does define who I am. I’m an Army Spouse, in a Military Town. And therefore, I’m apparently expected to be a certain way. Fit a certain mold.
My husband told me a couple of weeks ago to never change who I was. To keep on being myself, because he loves me for exactly that, and those who are truly my friends love me for who I am too. And you know what? I’m happy with who I am. But I feel like people who are close to me [not everyone, but a few] in this town are trying to change me. That they can’t accept me for who I am, and sadly my political beliefs are at the core of all of that. It seems to be the defining character trait, and they keep reminding me that. I can’t post an article on my facebook account without getting ripped a new one, or being made fun of, or talked about behind my back. But OHMYGOD if I even comment on an altering viewpoint, watch out. World War III. Brittany the crazy liberal is at it again. WHY THE HELL WON’T SHE SHUT UP AND CONFORM ALREADY??
I am who I am. Yes. I think we need to save more trees. I that believing that screaming that the Government shouldn’t control everything [like Health Care] and than turning around and yelling in the same breath that they should control other things [abortion] is completely hypocritical. I don’t think that drilling for more oil is the answer, and I think alternative energy sources — like solar & wind power — are so much better for this world.
But that’s not all that I am. I am a great artist, and a great photographer. I love animals and if I had a house big enough, I would save every damn one of them that needed saving. I am a great sister, daughter, grand daughter, neice, cousin and wife. I am a loyal friend and when duty calls — day or night — I will be there for you. I am creative, smart, well-spoken and good at my job. I am a proud Army wife who is proud of my husband’s job. There are many facets to this face and this personality. I’m also a Democrat. Sadly, it’s the last one that seems to matter the most. And it’s really unfortunate. Because I am a good person.
And people in my life are missing out on that because they can only focus on that one thing. Really, it’s a shame.
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Sweetie- you aren’t a good person, you are a GREAT person. And if anyone is willing to miss out on that because of politics? It is their loss, and their lives will be all the poorer for it.
I think you are amazing, I think you are great and I agree with your husband… never change who you are, because who you are is pretty damned awesome.
Love ya!
I told you this last night, but thanks for the love, lady! Just tired of defending myself when it’s so not necessary. I feel like that’s all I do. And, frankly, I’m over it. This whole “you’re not allowed to talk about things but we are” crap is getting old.
But — you already know all that because we already talked about it. Ha! LOVE YOU. Thanks for being such a rockin’ friend!
You don’t dare change. Your hubs is right, your real friends love you for who you are. I love you for who you are. I don’t agree with some of the things that you say and I’m not liberal either. But I love hearing everything you have to say because you say it with such passion that it makes me want to support what you say even if I don’t agree with it. You are an amazing person and DO NOT ever change!
ha — thanks Stacy. You know I love you, too!
Very much! And I miss you like crazy!!
Brittany–I read your post this morning at 4am before sending family off to the airport…and then, of course, I couldn’t sleep because I was pondering all the ways I could respond.
I think most of this can be chalked up to cognitive dissonance–you know, the idea that people will do anything they can to get rid of any discrepancy between what they already believe to be true and what may be presented as contradictory to what they already know. If anything, I would say that the fact they get so bent out of shape about it proves that what you are saying is having some effect on them.
However, something I’ve learned over the past few years is that it’s almost impossible to change someone’s mind. You mentioned that people with higher-level degrees are more likely to be liberal. Did you know that the more educated/intelligent people are, the less likely they are to be religious? So what happens is that people use religion/previously held political beliefs/etc. as a protection mechanism to help them feel better about themselves as well as an excuse to not think a little more deeply about an issue (often because they can’t understand it). Scott often describes it as, “I don’t understand evolution, so it must be wrong. I don’t understand the Big Bang Theory, so it must have been God. I don’t understand the new healthcare bill, so I’m going to scream out against it because there must be a better way that doesn’t make me uncomfortable.” I mean think about it – many of the people coming out against healthcare are over 65 and on Medicare. They are saying they want the “government to keep their hands off Medicare,” yet without the government, they wouldn’t HAVE Medicare. It’s a fear thing – and they are trying to protect their current set of beliefs because, well, if it ain’t REAL broke, don’t fix it.
Whenever I decided I didn’t believe in God anymore, and that I wasn’t a Christian, it dawned on me one day that I no longer had a crutch. I could no longer pray for something to happen or assume that “God had something else in his plan” if whatever I prayed for didn’t work out. But at the same time, THAT is exactly when I started putting the responsibility on myself to make the world a better place (not just asking God to). I know I am talking a lot about religion here, but I think you can understand that it’s essentially the same thing – sticking to a deep-seated belief because it’s uncomfortable to step outside of that.
Finally, I would say that, from my experience, the desire to “fit in” is much worse in the South than anywhere else (before anyone starts accusing me of stereotyping, please remember that I was born-and-raised). Again, I think that in many cases, it is a situation where people are afraid of losing their position in their “tribe” if they speak out against it. Remember how Dr. Botta taught us that people seek out others who agree with our viewpoint, in order to strengthen our viewpoint and make us feel more correct? I believe that is a lot of what is going on. If military spouses were to all suddenly go atheist and liberal Democrat on you, there would be too much cognitive dissonance. They would wonder, “Well, why is my husband even there?! And, who can I lean on for comfort when he’s in dangerous territory? And why does MY husband have to go on another tour?” If you completely believe that God has a plan, and that Republican administrations know what’s best for us, then you would receive some comfort in believing that. On the contrary, thinking the opposite could cause you quite a bit of depression and worry, I think.
There are a million other things I could say (well, maybe 3-4), but I’ll leave it at that for now. Let me know what you think about my response, and also call me if you need to chat. I love you girl! Can’t wait to see you in October.
And I still say to not change who you are, I will always be here.
I can’t say it better than your friends and husband. I love you so much it makes me cry..oh yeah I cry at Hallmark commercials. But the point is I love you because of who you are. I have spent my life apologizing for my beliefs. That is so wrong on so many levels. You are not shoving your value system down anyones throat. But you are questioning what goes on in this world and that is the only way that change happens. A wise old priest once told me that I was a lousy Catholic but a great theologian because I questioned everything the church threw at me. And he told me that the world needed people like me…and you.
Mom:
That’s kind of how I feel right now. Religion really isn’t up my alley (at this point) and I’ve never been a “take it at face value” kind of person.
But you’re right. I’m tired of apologizing and defending who I am. It’s EXHAUSTING. And I’m so over it. Love you too
Hey Sweetie… I know this isn’t easy to do, but here it is: STOP APOLOGIZING. The people who want an apology aren’t worth it and don’t deserve it, furthermore if they were friends, they wouldn’t ask for it.
I know that is easier said than done, but there are a ton of us who have your back and will love you no matter your politics- no apologies necessary! Life is too short and too precious to wast energy, emotions and words on people like that.
So stay true to yourself, be passionate, be outspoken, be YOU and if they don’t like it? Show ‘em the door.
Love ya too Lady!
If there is anything that I have learned from this deployment, it is this: Everyone is entitled to their opinions and their beliefs. They may not be the same as our own, but they are to be respected. I’ve seen my husband handle people’s opinions of the war and his role in it with such grace. Time to write some people off girl!
Hi, Army Wife! I just wanted to thank you for your refreshing blog. My husband joined the army a year ago, and he is a military chaplain, and yes, we are both Democrats! I know what you are saying about fitting in to this military life surrounded by many Republicans. I tend to keep many of my thoughts to myself for fear they might freak out or abandon me altogether, but with help from people like you, maybe I will become less fearful as to what people think of me and my beliefs! Thank you for your awesome thoughts, ideas, and courage!
Hi Angie!
Thank you for your comment! I definitely can relate to how you feel! Hang in there, and if there is anything I have learned from this, it’s BE YOURSELF. The people who truely love you for you will stick around
Thanks again for commenting, and I hope to hear from you more!
~Brittany
so I see the concensus is that you are just fine the way you are, and that you are a great friend, as well as a wonderful wife and daughter. So – dear friend- are you getting the drift? One of your friends said to just “cut them loose”. This is a smart woman – and you should listen to her! Those folks who have decided you need to be something else, think something else, believe something else – don’t know you! and somehow don’t realize that those beliefs and thoughts are making you… well….YOU!!
You stay The Army Wife – with her thoughts, her foibles, her beliefs, her knitting, and a new wine glass. Those others – “cut them loose”.
LAW (my captcha code – LEAN… oh how I wish…)